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Post by drizzletown on Jun 5, 2010 7:50:20 GMT -8
Oh, that's MEAN.
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Post by Kent67b on Aug 4, 2010 8:42:24 GMT -8
TWC, what a great story!!
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Post by b@@b on Aug 23, 2010 14:25:54 GMT -8
Well, speaking for me, I am just rusty and barely getting back on par with websearching crazy stuff. Otherwise, I have nothin off the top of my head. Yes, I am dull. I'm not goonna just put anything in here.
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Post by erik on Aug 23, 2010 16:41:42 GMT -8
The famous scene involving Peter Sellers, Keenan Wynn, and a Coca-Cola machine in director Stanley Kubrick's immortal 1964 political black comedy DOCTOR STRANGELOVE:
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Post by b@@b on Aug 27, 2010 19:18:10 GMT -8
^ The best yet!
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ks4rs
Teen Chick
No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job. Pat Paulsen
Posts: 997
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Post by ks4rs on Sept 1, 2010 16:59:35 GMT -8
And the winner of the meaningful tattoo award:
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Post by Kent67b on Sept 5, 2010 12:44:02 GMT -8
I just might start building fences where there were no fences before because of this newfangled tool. I just have to get some fearless soul to hold the boards up while I fire away........
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Post by jwaldorf on Sept 10, 2010 9:27:13 GMT -8
Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it: New Nail Gun, made by DeWALT. It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze. You can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, relax with a cold drink and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away. With the hundred round magazine you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably, ever again. Too cool, how much is it and where can I get one. ;D
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Post by erik on Sept 10, 2010 14:18:08 GMT -8
George C. Scott as the ultimate military bureaucrat Gen. Buck Turgidson trying to convince the president that a nuclear strike on Russia would only result in twenty million US dead, in DOCTOR STRANGELOVE:
It's funny, because we know that the military's way of thinking in terms of how many people would get killed on either side of a nuclear exchange is completely ludicrous.
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Post by b@@b on Sept 10, 2010 17:12:09 GMT -8
Suitable to possibly sit above the timeclock at work....
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Post by Kent67b on Sept 11, 2010 8:11:44 GMT -8
TWC, you really are a sick person! ;D
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Post by emiiadcx on Sept 11, 2010 9:55:43 GMT -8
My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?' So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
;D ;D ;D ;D great one!
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Post by b@@b on Sept 11, 2010 12:32:20 GMT -8
That stuff really happens!
I heard a Walmart janitor once mention about certain guests, "Sometimes, more trash comes in this place than I take out."
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Post by peppermintpatti on Sept 12, 2010 10:29:21 GMT -8
My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?' So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
LMAO. Wow. I love it.
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Post by myfavoritegirls on Sept 20, 2010 6:59:39 GMT -8
Got a funny? Let’s here it! Got a funny animation? Let’s see it! Cartoon or funny picture? Show it! Something unusual? Share it! I find this very disturbing.
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Post by myfavoritegirls on Sept 20, 2010 7:06:05 GMT -8
My 1 day employment
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?' So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
Is this a true story? Not that I don't believe there are people like that in the world - I've been to Walmart - some people should not reproduce. If it were up to me, I would institute a mandatory sterilization for stupid.
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Post by Kent67b on Sept 20, 2010 7:44:11 GMT -8
Got a funny? Let’s here it! Got a funny animation? Let’s see it! Cartoon or funny picture? Show it! Something unusual? Share it! I find this very disturbing. I do too. It should have been marked down to half price!
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Post by myfavoritegirls on Sept 20, 2010 10:32:42 GMT -8
yet another disturbing image... twc, aren't you the one who sent me the barbie images a few years ago?
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Post by myfavoritegirls on Sept 20, 2010 14:40:06 GMT -8
^ Thank you.
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Post by b@@b on Sept 25, 2010 15:10:24 GMT -8
Umm, I would think someone of Barbie's stature would be able to attain top notch cosmetic services.
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ks4rs
Teen Chick
No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job. Pat Paulsen
Posts: 997
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Post by ks4rs on Oct 6, 2010 9:20:15 GMT -8
Finding Inner Peace
I have found a way to start off the new month.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Some doctor on the radio last night said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Valian and Oxy scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclets.
Yu haf no idr how bludy guod I feel rite now.
Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr paece.
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Post by drizzletown on Jan 31, 2011 9:48:59 GMT -8
My dad asked me if, because I now work in a cubicle, if I could relate to Dilbert more. Maybe......
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Post by drizzletown on Feb 1, 2011 19:23:52 GMT -8
TWC is sharing his dreams now.
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ks4rs
Teen Chick
No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job. Pat Paulsen
Posts: 997
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Post by ks4rs on Mar 19, 2011 14:26:54 GMT -8
Adult Truths…
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Heal the past, live the present, dream the future. Enjoy life!!!
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Post by peppermintpatti on Mar 20, 2011 5:10:03 GMT -8
I love that.
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